It Is Almost Time...

...for my disability hearing. I have waited so long! Years! I think back over the years and am so greatful (intentionally misspelled) to be here and remember moments that I have no idea how I made it past. I've had the depression since I was a kid. I seriously don't remember a time that it wasn't lurking in the back of my brain waiting to come out and torment me. It was discovered that I had higher than normal cholesterol when I was 19 (1994). I started having panic attacks and found out I had an irregular heart rhythm and tachyarrhythmia when I was 20 (1995). I could go on with this timeline to the present day, but it is already looking pathetic as it is. I have a lot wrong with me... mentally and physically. The physical really wears on the mental that is already there, but I do NOT let it win!! I will NOT EVER let it win. I have a purpose.

My purpose is not to sit here on my butt collecting a disability payment each month, giving nothing back to my fellow earthlings. I have plans. I am currently doing research/talking to people to see about starting a Mental Illness Support Group here in Bosworth for the surrounding communities. We have so few resources out here in "the sticks." We need to pull together in order to be stronger as individuals. I am also looking into starting an organization for the Community similar to the ISFoundation, if not a "branch" of it. There is a lot that can be done in these smaller communities that will, over time, make a difference on our planet. I want Bosworth to be the first spark... and hopefully through networking... that spark will spread to the other small communities around here. This is going to take some work on my part. I know I can't go it alone with my anxiety issues, but Tausha (my community support specialist) and I are starting a new "phase" of my treatment plan. I will actually be leaving the house every week. We are going to be working on activities that I have lost the ability to do in the last 7ish years. One of the things I want to do is work with the elderly. I used to work in an Alzheimer's Unit and loved it! I would sing to the residents on and off all day. I would sing everything from country to goofy kids songs to gospel. I do an awesome "Amazing Grace" if I do say so myself, and I do! The residents loved it. I can't work with them anymore, but I can still sing... and someday I will!!